nada

I am not sure what kind of reception I expect when coming home but I always find myself alone in my fantastic loft feeling a bit lonely and let down. I can’t really explain the phenomenon since everyone I know is visibly and communicably excited to see me. I built up anxiousness on this trip due to the seeing the ex in person factor and am a little relieved although let down to not have seen him yet. I was a bit deviant in my arrival to town, as I didn’t tell anyone the day ort time hoping to find out what happened in my house while I was thought to be 3000 miles away. The answer that came after a heart-pounding walk from the elevator to the key releasing the deadbolt was nothing. My house is immaculate; the only sign of the finance is a corny Valentines Day card.

I have decided to spend my expanded time here in PDX seeing the people I want to see, asking for things I want, and soaking up as much of the things I love about Oregon to last me another three months in the Northeast. A conversation with Jeff resurfaced last night about where my heart belongs. Am I a New Yorker or am I an Oregonian? The choice was unclear six months ago, but now it is becoming more obvious...