They say alcohol is a depressant; certainly not at the time of intake or the hours after when I find it necessary to dance and flash people. No, it is the morning after when you have to get up and go back to work with cabin pressure making your head pound. I believe my reaction would have been the same even if I was not hungover or on my period. I returned the call from the ex to confirm my suspision that he was dating someone, but the news that sunk my heart was the impending engagement. I held back the tears on the phone and asked the polite questions so he won't know my sadness. You know the tough front I always need to have up. He is not the one although I did have him as my comfortable fall back. That is now gone and I feel selfish in the fact that it should be me with the "exciting news" that I have found someone. I have thought about my past relationships and it seems like I am the one who makes my partner a better man for the next girl. I have dubbed it relationship rehab. This is what I explain to my mom through a flood of tears and her reply was perfect, "someone is fixing up your guy right now".
Chicago will be in my cd player for a while...
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