5 to go. twilight zone

I knew that the phone was going to ring, I was feeling a bit hungover from the numerous tequila shots the evening prior so whenever I woke up, I checked the phone and then checked the computer. Finally around 1100, I acknowledge at trip to Brussels. I feel back asleep until 1430.
I had been to Brussels prior and flown with one of the crew members prior as well. The rest was needing to be refreshed a bit. It is a rarity that I see a 777 and had no idea where I was working. I looked at the a cheat sheet and much to my delight, I was up front. My friend was the galley unknown to her so we swapped.
I walked on the plane and went to stow my luggage at the 3R door when the captain walked toward me from the back. It is odd to see a pilot make it out of the pit, let alone walking around the interior of the aircraft. He asked me who I was and I introduced myself three times before he got the name right. Then he asked me what the extraction of my name was from. WHAT?! Dude, I am not in the mood. It is made up, I reply. And then he wants to know why. I told him he would have to speak to Carol about that one. A speaker comes on and immediately starts bitching about things, so I wrote her off in a second.
So, I am doing my equipment checks and chatting with Marci when the lead gets on the PA and announces it's family time, it's family time. Translation: it's time for a crew briefing. These usually take 5 minutes max between the captain and the purser. Well, 25 minutes later after being told to wear our hair up during service and that our captain will back us, and other things which I can't recall, oh, leave a note at the front desk of the hotel in case you die during the layover. I am looking around at everyone and they are just sitting there absorbing all of this.
Well, we start boarding and the speaker from before is being a total bitch to me. I completely ignored her to which her reply was to throw the galley curtain around like a child. Gratefully it was just the two of us in our little bubble during the service and I must have laid down the attitude as no flight attendants other than our one friend and the purser came to my galley for anything. My galley is usually the hang out.
Without going into every minute of the flight there, layover and flight home. I will just run down the crew. I truly felt I was in the middle of the twilight zone.
Captain: flown for years, loves to yap and isn't afraid to say what's on his mind, even if it is completely inappropriate. Ended up taking photos of the girls chest who went out to dinner. (mine included)
FO: cool guy, I looked to him to get my jokes
IRO: Kiwi, who I am sure has laid more women with his accent than Wilt Chamberlain. He gave me his business card and told me he liked the way I moved in my heals.
Purser: he is a story at the end
A zone galley: all this guy does is Brussels and he was so excited to have some people join him and listen to his stories. He was looking to pick up the scraps after dinner, if you know what I mean
Back galley girl: cute, sweet quiet. wore pearls on the flight and the layover. I looked at the FO and told him, I bet she is a freak behind closed doors. Got a couple cocktails in her and out it came. holy moly!
a girl in the back: cougar was her nickname. she was at least 50, saggy tits but still wanted to show then to people. she spent the layover trying to get laid by anyone. she just put it out there. she ended up with a date tonight with the IRO.
a guy in the back: didn't say a word the whole 48 hours and had a come over from hell

So the purser: apparently he thought Marci and I were talk show host because the shit that came out of that man's mouth...
here's highlights
he is 47 married to a 70 year old, that he talks about constantly
he was a go-go boy but retired at the age of 41, he traveled with this part time gig, he demonstrated a bit of the routine when he would be in a cage.
he told us that for his stripping job he bought Calvin Klein underwear, the ones with the pouch and then his wife would sew up the back to make them tighter
he met his wife at the golden corral ( like a family style buffet)
he used to work at walmart prior to stripping
he didn't have anything when he moved in with his wife (then 47) we asked if she was his sugar mama.
he would answer any question we would ask and I am not sure if he knew that we were laughing at him or just wanted to talk.
and talk he did, constantly. I was smart enough not to get cornered, but poor Marci heard things she will never forget.

Many times we looked at each other with the most amazed looks and then would usually bust into a fit of laughter at the twilight zone we were in the middle of. do-dodododo-do