expectations

I would consider myself someone with very high expectations. I always play out scenarios in my head about everything, I usually want things to adhere to the play by plays in my head and they usually don't. I find myself disappointed more often than not. I would also say that I have gotten used to things not playing out perfectly so much so that when things do go smoothly or get done without a lot of hassle, I stop and wonder why.

Perfect example is the week which I have named I heart NY week. Instead of going on one last holiday I elected to stay in NYC and do those things I always wanted to do, or what I dub my nyc bucket list. First stop on my I heart NY week was the Hamptons thanks to the generosity of my friend Lindsey it only cost me a train ticket. We had a great time laying out and enjoying the world of the rich (viewing not living) and although it would have been nice to walk around the beach towns, it was a nice little journey. Friday I spent a wonderful lunch with Beth and worked on business plans over a couple glasses of wine before returning home for a quick cat nap and final shift at Brother Jimmys. I worked downstairs and it was not the usual run around with your head cut off shift, it was nice and mellow. On the walk home was the whole penis incident which completely ruined my mood for the evening.
Saturday it took everything I had to get out of the house to go to the library. Finally at four after 2 afternoon naps I made my way there and got my very own library card but found the gorgeous space a little overwhelm for the simple book check out. I then decided to take my cuteness to 230 Fifth for a drink on the rooftop. The view was amazing but the waitress completely ignored me so I got up and left. I ended up walking the rest of the way home and getting a burger for dinner instead. I spent the night in wishing someone would call and invite me to something fancy.
Sunday was lunch with Lance and instead of going out he wanted to throw me a farewell brunch party at his place. All of my girlfriends were busy so I went solo. I was the first to arrive and when Mousier asked me what I wanted to drink he was floored by my request for a bloody mary and then nixed the mimosa too. I ended up with oj and vodka while Lance went out to get burgers to grill. I only knew 2 people for the whole thing and finally felt I paid my dues and left around 7. I wanted eggs Benedict and bloody marys not burgers and wine. And even though it was the generous thought behind it, it made me realize that I wanted to come home. To attend parties where people didn't ask me who was this girl that was leaving. Parties where if my zipper broke on my dress someone would be smart enough to help me duct tape it together properly. I wound up in bed at 830 and happy to be alone.
The next day was Portland which was awesome because I had no expectations. The only expectation I have concerning the city is when I was going to get back to it. Mental planning had me coming back after my trip to Greece with the girls next week and then grown up time would begin. Now that plan has become murky as well since an extension of the apt swap is now on the table.
I have my buh bye party tonight and even though I am trying not to, I have a hope that it is successful and people have fun.

Just where exactly do expectations come from?