first class..that's a joke today

So here I sit on the jump seat, waiting patiently for the next 2 hours and 45 minutes to be complete…okay, maybe not so patient. It is the last leg, the final time I will sit as a working crewmember.
Even after my thirty minute snooze in the pit, I am still tired but able to function a bit more than this morning. It was a long morning to say the least with emotions and nerves on edge. I awoke almost six hours prior to wake up and could not go back to sleep. Around 0330 I gave into it and just got up and worked on my new adventure. Eight hours of sleep in the last two days has put me on edge to say the least. Since I am working my favorite position a coffee and a little something in my stomach usually put me right back on course no matter how much sleep preceded my day. Today not so much. The passengers are exhausting; they are majority upgrades and people who you can tell they have never flown first class. Let’s review…
1A upgrade who is very kind and clueless so will accept anything I offer. thought about saying, “dirty cookie off the floor and milk?” she would have taken it.
1F Carol, she is well trained, no issues there
2AB the woman is my least favorite and you can tell they have never been up here before, she is asking me to take photos of them and asking for oj and champagne. As of right now, 2/3 through the flight they have had at least 15 different drinks. She wants this and then they want try this drink…no, that’s not what they wanted. When presenting the cheese and sundae cart, they told me they would have it later. Uhm, no this is now not at your leisure, we are not on a cruise ship. I go and pick up her glass of baileys on the rocks which when she ordered it she wanted irish cream in a glass. “on the rocks ma’am?” no with ice…I ask her if she would like another and instead of answering she just tapped her glass. “I don’t know what that means ma’am” another “another baileys’ on the rocks please?” yeah. Then she comes up and wants an irish coffee. We ask her repeatedly if she wants baileys and coffee or a real irish coffee with whiskey explaining to her that we don’t have Jameson. Chris goes through all this work to make one and she doesn’t like it. I am doing cookie service and she doesn’t allow her husband to have his own. I am sure they will piss me off some more in the next couple of hours and try eight more drinks.
2E He’s for sure a Texan. He knows what he wants and says please and thank you. Sold!
3A arrived late, brushed me off when I tried to take his order and when I returned to see if he was ready he told me it was 0900, no sir it is 0400. He fell asleep after take off and I went to close his window shades and he woke up and opened all three of them back up. He’s an idiot but he hasn’t asked for very much.
3B totally nice and kinda cute. Ordered an exec meal and then crashed out. Says please and thank you. You can tell he is a fist class person.
3D he is nice and a little needy but nothing compared to the rest.
3E is traveling with her non rev family and needs to have her snotty attitude beaten out of her.
4AB super nice girls, very polite nothing like the older sister
4DE very nice and polite non revs although any time one orders something, the other one wants the same. I feel like asking the guy if he’d like a blow job to see if the wife says “me too”

My cookie service which usually takes 3 minutes took around 15 with all the stupid questions, requests and demands. I present a tray of cookies and milk and say, “fresh baked cookies and milk?” what is it? WTF does it look like?
It is kind of relief because for a minute on the way over and a minute or two on the layover I thought about how much I would miss this. But today, and these people and my lack of being a “paris, first class, international” flight attendant reminds me that I am so over this. I am ready to begin a career with fresh air, non preservative food, non-nylon wearing, no talking back, happy to see me, no plane bloat, no more polyester, no more brushing my teeth with bottled water, no more thank you, have a nice, bye-byes. Bring on the dogs!


editors note: to add to the exhaustion of the flight was a dirty look from 2B during the buh-byes and then I had the pleasure of being dragged into secondary customs office and then through agriculture. Just an extra sigh of relief that this journey is now complete.