closing of 2008

I sit here on the edge of my bed as the morning ticks towards the afternoon. It is the 31st of December. I am sitting here thinking about the year 2008 is fast forward motion, thinking about the mistakes which were made. I am also listing things I have learned directly or indirectly from those falls in life.

Failures:

Allowing myself to be manipulated
Failing Brooklyn
Falling as a mother to George
Failing in my spirit to travel
Failing relationship with a boy

What I have learned:

I am a strong woman who can handle just about anything with the right people behind me or by my side, thank you Carol
I am better than anyone I deem to be “wonderful”
I have learned karma does reward a good heart in the end
I have learned sometimes being with one person that you love is better than being pulled in every direction
I have learned where the best steak in the city is and had a grand time doing so
I have learned it is okay to say what you want and go after it even if the result is not what you had planned
I have learned that an unhappy living situation landfalls to the rest of your being and it is okay to get out
I learned I had the strength to get out…of many things
I learned sometimes the most love you can share with someone is to let them go
I learned that an open heart usually spots the good things before the mind can
I have re affirmed that miles don’t separate true friendships
I have learned therapist are a god send!
I have learned that I need to allow people to take care of me…ok, ok I am still working on that one
I have learned that I can have friends here and actually do...I just looked around
I have learned that Jack and I don’t belong together, shouldn’t even court him even when I am lonely and everyone else is with him
I have learned to follow adventures and make my own
I learned that sometimes it is just better to walk away
I learned that the looks don't make a man
I learned that living with a dork is better than living with a fake friend
I have learned that when you least expect it, you get assigned HNL
I have learned that the universe rewards a good heart


I am unsure where I will be when the clock strikes midnight here in New York, my home. But I have an openness like never before and when I start to get anxious or want to plan my “what if they don’t call”, I stop and be.

Being in the moment, that something I want to learn in 2009.