.

The last day of the year, a time for reflection and looking ahead. Where has this year gone? I was getting ready to become a loan officer this time last year. Getting ready for a party and going out with good friends, it seems like a million years ago. It seems like I am living in the twilight zone or a stuck in a holding pattern and if I am patient things will return back to normal, my life will make sense again. I am allowing myself to be sad and upset but just for the day as tomorrow is a new year. It will be the first time I have worked on New Years since my days in retail over a decade ago. I need to return to Portland simply because I need to remember what it is like to be surrounded by people who care about me, beautiful streets, and friendly people. I need a shift in perception, I need to go home.

december days

The scheduling gods are still upset with my previous request for an international flight. My sixth, yes count them sixth turn of the past eight days with one day off. The turn to FLL was alive with crazies, one with a peanut allergy, people who hated their seats, people who wanted us to serve dinner at nine o'clock at night, angry New Yorkers. Thankfully the flight back was nicer and I soon forgot how aweful my job can be. Today...today ranked in my top three worst flights. Excitement was my inital reacation when seeing my new destiny for the day, Belize, only to have it deflate when I saw it was a turn. A twelve hour day with nine and half of which was spent in the air. The first part of my day was good, good crew, good crowd, not a lot of carry ons. We hopped off the plane and hit the duty free for some good deals on liquor. They came on the plane in full force from the front and back doors, bringing their anger, trashiness, and bratty children. Four and half hours of glaring, non mannered, assholes and I was done. I come home to be greeting with the message of yet another turn tomorrow, this time to absolute, favorite place, Orlando. Can taste the senisism?

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I have done it, the thought that every woman has at one point in time in their lives; what would be like to be with a rich man who would do anything in the world for me? A man who has a penthouse in the city, a driver, a sucessful business, a guy who drops everything when I wanted to go the theatre and walked the streets of the theatre district looking for box seats, a man that takes me to exclusive lounges, cigar clubs, and night clubs, then gets me a town car all the way back home. Yes, this is what I found. But is there the butterflies, the za-za-zu that I long for? Not at all!! Don't get me wrong, he is absolute wonderful guy, generous heart, successful but not, well just not. The play however was fantastic!! My second Broadway show and I was sitting thirty feet away from Nathan Lane in his new play, Butley. He is an amazing actor and it was exciting to be that close to him. I need to go to more shows!

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Manhattan two days in a row. The roommates where nice enough to deliver the grease to my bed. I knew that I needed to get up and get ready as our tour was awaiting our arrival. It took a few tries until I made it into the shower, the final attempt was made on my hands and knees; too many cosmos the night before. A shower and my new pink dress was my motivation of pulling it together for the day and looking fabulous, very Carrie-like. We awaited the bus in front of the Plaza and toured around NYC for three and half hours, stopping at the Pleasure Chest (the place of the rabbit purchase), Carrie's stoop, and finally O'Neills (Scout) for a cosmo. We passed by three restaurants that appeared on the show that I had actually been too, Sushi Sambi "dirty martini, dirty bastard", Tao (with the jazz player), and Asia de Cuba (compliments from the Russian). Many more to experience though. Our group was not that enthusiastic but C and I sure had a great time and knew almost all the trivia asked. Dinner, all dressed up was in SoHo at Boom. The food and company was fantastic and greatfully I was in bed by midnight.

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Tomorrow is the last day of the year. I am supposed to return from my trip by 2130 and I am NOT going to hang out at the house. I am going to get a midnight kiss...somehow...I am still working on the game plan.

theatre part dioux

The movie theater and the nachos called my name once more this holiday weekend. This time I was not alone in my journey as my roommate returned from her trip shortly before my return this afternoon. My turn to PBI this morning was horrible, the people were so rude and nasty that I declared it the worst Christmas ever and it was only 0900. I took a short nap after my return and then we headed off to the movies to watch The Good Shepard. Excellent movie and the addition of whoppers added to the intrigue of the evening. I have received my assignment for tomorrow, a double turn, which equals no prediem, small paycheck, and an early check-in. I need to start picking up trips and trying to control my schedule because this crap sucks! The good news is that if the temp drops even the slightest bit, there will be snow.

movie for one

How did I spend my first Christmas Eve away from home? I arrived in from my charter flight around 0200, slept until awakened with an offer to go to the Giants game which I had to decline because I was on call. I sat around the apartment all day long waiting, knowing that they were going to call me. I watched movies I had seen many times on TV, ate a Lean Cusine, and then finally had enough of waiting around and decided to go to a movie. I pick a romantic comedy and sat very aware of my singleness amongst the couples. I return to an empty house, something I usually enjoy, but not tonight, to find out that I have a 0545 check in for a West Palm turn. Clearly I did not get what I asked for, for Christmas. I was in such a mind set to be away and didn't expect to be here.

football boys

I think it would be easier to stick this out if I didn't have a wonderful, clean loft at home; if I didn't have wonderful friends that I miss so much at home; if I didn't have my family at home. I am sure that it is the winter blahs and still not knowing where my life will be for Christmas that is making me so home sick. That and all the wonderful holiday cards that keep coming in the mail. But here is something that I would not be able to do from my fabulous home...charter a NCAA footbsll team on their way to a bowl game. I have be elected by scheduling to be the lead on a 777 flight taking the Rutgers football team to the Texas Bowl. This is what I get for asking for something international, oh well, it is a change from the norm and it's a plane full of college men for christsakes! I will admit that I pretty unfamilar with this huge plane so I will be whipping out the ol' manual over lunch today. So off to Houston I go, I think I might lie and stay that I haven't been in the cockpit for landing since it is so damn cool to see.

presents

I am awaiting to find out where I will be spending my Christmas holiday. I called scheduling today to ask for an international trip if they had any extra. It didn't sound very promising but it doesn't hurt to ask. The rest of the roommates are on trips and I am home with George cleaning my half of the room and surfing the net. This exciting life I lead! We exchanged presents last night where I received silk pajamas, boxers, a "sex kitten" book, a Duck's key chain, a dating guide, and a ticket to go on the Sex in the City bus tour. You can guess which one I am most excited about. Looks like it is going to snow night judging by the sky. I am hoping to spend my Christmas somewhere cold and white.

new stamp

The Chrystler Building was so close it seemed as though I could reach out my hand and touch it. The three-sixty of the roof continued to bask in the shadow of of impressiveness. The Trump Tower, the Hudson River. The penthouse of the CEO I had met a few weeks ago was very nice. Janene and I paid it and him a visit during our day in the city. We searched Canal Street for the perfect bags even if it meant getting into a van with an Asian woman or following on up three flights of stairs to ajoining rooms filled with purses and a guy in the corner sewing on the designer labels. Our journey continued to the West Village which left a permanent mark with Janene in the form of a tattoo. After the ink came the tour of the penthouse, followed by a slight tour of the city in the back of a Suburban, and then on to dinner at Asia de Cuba. It was a very nice restaurant and we enjoyed the courses with newly made friends. The evening was cut short (ie at 0100) because I had to work the next day. We took the notorious Path station and found ourselves in the middle of a freak show. A guy from Poland offered us one of his dates that he purchased at a 99 cent store and showed us his beautiful gift bag he purchased for a dollar while his friend who was in desperate need of chapstick talked to us about something or another. All of a sudden this black girl jumps up and starts spraying mace yelling that we called her names, we weren't even talking to her. After the thiry minute wait for the train, the police came got her and we made our way home.


I have just arrived home from a long trip, four days felt like an eternity. Here it was...EWR-RSW-layover-RSW-EWR-BOS-EWR-RDU (16 hour day)-layover-RDU-IAH-TPA-layover-TPA-EWR-BDA-home (12 hour day). I am so exhausted but need to stay awake to see where I have to go tomorrow. I have had ten days off this month so far but have to pay my dues with only 2 days off the rest of the month. I am glad to have gone to new places and it was a relief to get the roommates Christmas shopping done in Tampa, and today was pretty neat as well. We flew into Bermuda, yes we dared to enter the triangle, and was able to run off the plane, take photos, go to duty free then customs, get a stamp in my passport, and then hop back on the plane to fly home.

Bienviendos a Miami

Or at least to South Beach. Our trip thus far has consisted of dream like experience, which make us look at each other and start cracking up. The smoothness of getting down here to begin our holiday ended when we were outside waiting for the grey, beach shuttle with blue writing, which never appeared. Once we checked into our adorable hotel, which we dubbed a gay friendly hotel. A walk to the accent building and through dimly lit hallways brought us to a stark white room with color only provided by a red, shag runner and the box of condoms on the mini bar. We set off to find some lunch and check out the town. A walk along Lincoln Blvd provided us with terrific people watching, a nice lunch, and a familiarization with our surroundings. The concierge was to be in at four so we walked along the beach path until then. An hour, yes you heard me correctly, an hour with Gregg (with three g’s) proved to be most informative as he printed off a book of things to do and went as far as making an itinerary of our three days here. We were standing there for so long that my feet became a little bored from lack of movement. He was so funny with his enthusiasm that when he went to grab something, Janene whispered to me, “ I can’t wait to get back to the room so we can talk about him!” Nightlife does not really begin until 2300 so it gave us time to get a nap in, make our massage appointments, and for me to run down and get a wax. The five blocks turned into eight as random streets were thrown into the numeric. I accidentally passed the place only to be face to face with the legendary Miami Ink. I had no time to stop and stare like the other tourist, I was late for a bit of touchier. Feeling a little lighter, I made my way home to get ready. Dinner was Mexican food and a pitcher of margaritas to get the night going. Our next stop was Sushi Samba, which turned from sushi bar during the day to party with girls dancing on the sushi bar itself. A couple cosmos later found me dancing with a bunch of Chilean TV producers.

Day 2
This is the bizarre day, which ended with me kissing an ex-NBA player. The pool was calling our name for relaxation and a little bit of sunshine. Our massage appointments were more than walking distance away so we ordered a cab. It was awaiting us downstairs with a thin woman running around with a walkie-talkie and a bebe shirt. We got into the cab and told her our destination, including address. She proceeded to tell us she didn’t know where that was and we needed to take another cab. She “apologized a hundred times” and took us to the corner and basically shooed us out. We looked at each other with disbelief wondering if we were on some reality show or if Ana the driver was just a little coo-coo. It was the latter and we got out of the cab and searched for a new ride. Our new cab driver thought the story was quite funny and dropped us off at The Standard. We were unsure that we were at the correct place as the sign on the building was not correct and there was a huge bulldozer blocking the entrance. We ran around the obstacle and made our way into the twilight zone. The third floor held the spa and while walking down the hallway, I made the comment of how I felt like I was in a Mission Impossible movie. We changed into our robs and made our way into the steam room, followed by the sauna, and then to a general room with marble, large steps and bathtubs. We sat and relaxed and then began to watch this guy, who had an incredible body walk around, over to what we assumed his boyfriend, then back over to the tub to wet his face, then put oil on, the back over to the guy, then returning to the tub for some sit ups and more oil. I didn’t know what the hell he was doing but sadly it was turning me on. That being our cue to the leave and wait in the meditation room. An hour and a nice massage later, we walked back to our side of town. Stopping for a bite, we chose a pizza place that didn’t know its head from its ass. There was no apparent line, so we waited patiently, to be acknowledged. Once we placed our orders and there were warming in the oven, our helper told us he would be right back and our pizza wouldn’t burn in the mean time. Once again we looked at each other in disbelief. What is going on in the place? The other girl refused to hear our plea for the banded slices so we waited. After the ordeal we ate outside in the company of a nativity scene, a Christmas tree, a menorah, and dradel made out of seashells. The left over pizza was left on the table in hopes someone hungry would benefit. As I walked through an erotic gallery, Janene yelled for me to come look at the man in drag getting free dinner. We made it back to the hotel and took a nap. Our dinner reservations were at Prime 112, a famous hot spot known for its celeb sightings and Kobe burgers. It was the perfect setting for an elegant dinner, we ordered drinks at the bar and then made our way to the back. Next to us was a couple complaining about the prices and irritating the wait staff, on the opposing side was a table of two turned into five (but on the guys was hot, so that was okay). Beyond the first table was a group of younger guys out with possibly their father. Tons of food passed by us on the way to that table which may explain what we saw shortly after. A pink bottle was lifted chugged, and then passed clockwise around the table. The bottle of pepto appeared for the below the chair and made a couple appearances until emptied and placed back under the chair. All humorous to us as we shared the story with the cheap ass next to us. Dinner was amazing and as we were leaving, Janene asked the guy behind us about his gigantic ring. Turns out he is a scout and received the ring after his team won the championship. We talked briefly and then went outside. Undecided on what to do, we went back inside and joined his table talking until 0200. It was while I was retrieving mints that I was met in the hallway and kissed by the guy, nice surprise. It was interrupted by Janene pounding on the door and we ended our evening early.

Day 3

No plans, no appointments left us slumbering until 1100. We made our way down to the end of the continental US during the overcast day to check things out. A call to our friend guided us to the Big Pink Diner on the corner. Our waiter was very friendly and brought me a Big Pink Lemonade, very tasty. We sat outside and continued our people watching disappointed that we hadn’t seen silly things like the day prior. Then it pulled up, a limo obviously rented, with a group of men in velour track suits with the accompaniment of gold chains and greasy hair. Clearly they thought they were on the set of Sopranos. We made our way back walking off our large lunch, looking at tattoo places. Our stark white room welcomed us back and lured us into bed to watch TV and take a nap. Hours of Law and Order later, we made reservations at 9:52 for 9:30, at 10:07 I realized that we didn’t know what time it was when we called and that the hostess was an idiot as well. The downpour of ran which soaked the Nike runners passing by our room let up enough for a short walk to The Shore Club for a delightful dinner at Ago. Our waiter was a bit eccentric with his description of what kind of mood drugs Paris takes each day and how sweaty he was. We threw in the towel on our partying evenings and headed back to the hotel. My clam spaghetti in white sauce not agreeing with me caused me to lay down with stomach agony. I felt guilty for not going out and expressed that the young side of me still wanted to go out. Janene laughed at the pained look on my face and ultimately me.
We now sit at the airport awaiting our flight home and crossing our fingers that we can get on; a night in Manhattan with an old high school buddy of J’s awaits us.

sunshine

I can see why all the old people flock to the state of Arizona for the winter, it is beautiful here. I am speaking about the tempature not the clouds of dust due to the lack of grass. I truly believe that you can go through winter blahs as my attitude has lightened since I have been here. I started my morning with a nice run on the treadmill and then a breakfast of instant oatmeal in the hotel coffee mug near the sink. Feeling energized I walked the two miles to the Scottsdale Fashion Square (ooh-la-la). I wandered around trying to find presents for the roommates without much luck mostly due to my lack of having a fortune to spend. It was great people watching over my shrimp tempura roll as the plastic wives walked around the mall and the boyfriends with lists and bags from Tiffany, Coach, and Burberry walked around the mall dumbfounded at the amount of money they had been suckered into spending. I did get quite a few comments on my "I love Ducks football" tee as I was clearly in Pac 10 territory. The funniest comment came from a gentleman in the lobby of my hotel as he used my shirt to engage me in conversation and ultimately asking me out. He does live in NY and is the president of some recruitment firm according to his business card. So I guess the sunshine is a great up lifter of the mood, that and some cheap flattery!!

phx

I just looked at the weatherchannel.com to find out the not surprisingly warm weather for PHX. I was actually able to keep a nice trip this time and am about to pack my bags for my 20 hour stay in Scotsdale. Just a light sweater, some work out clothes, and a nice skirt for a light dinner. I am the only girl working this trip besides our load out of IAH today. I am sure they are all gay but I would rather work with men any day of the week. Heres hoping for some hotties in AZ.

east side/ west side

A fabulous way to start off my fourth day in a row off work, with a homemade chocalate chip cookie and of course all the thoughts running through my head.

Our girls evening out ended up being only three of us since M proclaimed that she didn't have enough money. I don't think that was the really reason for her absence but who knows. So C, B, and I got all dressed up in excitement for the city. We had decided to drive so we left an hour and half prior to our reservations at the exclusive Tao'. Two hours later through the Lincoln Tunnel and the chaos that makes up traffic in Mahattan we parked and ran to the restaurant. Our table had been given away so we decided to stay for one drink to make a game plan and see if we could spot some celebs. C make friends with the bartender so we able to grab a table and eat in the lounge. The table we grabbed came with two other guys on the opposite couch. We made nice chit chat with them as we nibbled on great sushi. And then our less out going roommate switched personalities and began to be a grouch. She said that she felt stupid all dressed up and she was out of her element. My response was that I just entered mine, so deal. We ordered some more small plates and had some of the best sushi I have ever had along with wine and a lot of silliness. The nice gentleman invited us out and gave us tips on clubs should we want to go, took care of our tab, and the exited nicely. Of course I came away with his card and an invite to his penthouse warming this evening....yes I am debating going. We decided to stick to the plan of a short evening even though C and I could have stayed out all night, and went next door to the Four Seasons for dessert. (The Four Seasons that Big always stays). We met some other gentleman that invited us to sit at their table with them and then bought us dessert and Spanish coffees. The evening was great success and there was much tension in the car as we drove back home, I drove down 5th for B as she wanted to see the tree, it put her in a little better spirits.

A mobile was left at the restaurant and since I had plans to go into the city anyway, it became my mission to rescue the phone. I got off the Path at 34th to be welcomed into Herald's Square and Macys. I started walking because it was a beautiful day and made it up to E 58th in twenty short minutes. I choose to walk up Madison Ave as that is where all the good shops are. I made a pit shop for a hot dog next to Bear Sterns just in case my investment banker husband was needing a hot dog at that exact second in life too. No luck, still single. I made my way to the restaurant and then grabbed a cab to my next agenda. I soaked in the drive as this may be my new neighborhood. I pulled up on Edgar Allan Poe Blvd and rang the buzzer. My new friend came running downstairs and let me in the double doors. His place was so cute as it was about 300 square feet if that. We sat and talked for a while about the neighborhood and other places in the city. I layed it on the table about my indecisiveness and that I didn't want to make a decision right now. He is a nice guy, lonely, but nice and talks a lot most of the time outloud thinking. We drank our water and then made our way back over to the East side for some Bikram yoga. This is a first time for me with the heat and it was awesome. I fell right back into the swing of yoga and loved every drop of sweat that hit the mat. Staring at myself in the mirror for 90 minutes did not make me happy as I remembered the toned body I once had and now desperately longed for. We went back and talked some more over wine and it hit me that I was not ready for this move and I just wanted to house sit next month as he went on vacation. I kept this to myself as he asked my option on a new chair for his place, I actually sat in this one before giving my thoughts on it. We continued to check out the nieighborhood with drinks at a local bar and then dinner at Chinesse restaurant. A visit to his friend on Columbus to see what a $1500/month room looks like and then I returned home to Jersey.

I could see myself living in the city but it would be hard to get to work and forsee myself partying all night but it is a once in a lifetime chance that I honestly say, I still don't know after all that research.

deja vu'

Today felt like deja vu'. I awoke to the sound of John Denver as my phone rang at six a.m. alerting me to yet another turn. I slept for a little while longer and then got up to the same empty house I enjoyed last night. I drove to the airport once again during the wind gust, waiting on morning traffic to move onto the parkway. I parked my car and awaited the bus that takes me to the airport. Same terminal as yesterday, the A terminal because I repeated my trip to Chicago. Granted this is my favorite turn to do because the passangers are usually behaved and there are usually some good looking business men on board. The downside to Chicago is that there is almost always a delay. We left late yesterday and once again today. I didn't mind sitting there waiting in the plane with the 16 degree weather blowing through the open door because today I was entertained by that hot pilot that I flew with a couple of months ago. I left the plane in a hurry once we got home becasue I thought he had already left, the cockpit door was open. But to my dismay, he was still on board and since I didn't want to stand around like an idiot, I made my way home.

On the first of my many Chicago trips in the past week and a half, I talked to the captain as we were making our way home. He mentioned that he lived in the city and my face must have brightened up because he followed me and gave me his email address. He told me he would as around for some rental control places for me. Well, we have been communicating and it looks like he may offer his place to me for next month while I look for places. This is so what I wanted but now, I am starting to think of the little things and get nervous about making the big step. If I do jump to across the Hudson, George will need to move home because is not fair to her that I would be gone for days at a time (sad), I would need to take public transportation to/from work because of parking, the cost would be more, I may miss my roommates, I would need to condence the small amount of stuff I have to even smaller, little things....but here is the big thing....IT IS MANHATTAN, a dream of mine to live in the city that never sleeps. To have a fabulous life like Carrie Bradshaw. The oppurtunity is here, upon me, why I am so scared? I am meeting with the guy Thursday to take a look at it and talk more in deepth. I just received an email from him about the time and he asked if I wanted to do anything "New York" . My response was to get some Motza ball soup as I have heard that it is very New York. He also mentioned that he usually goes to a yoga class on Thursdays and 'if I was interested I could join him". Yoga? That is music to my ears. I was speaking to another FA on the jumpseat this evening about my worries of moving. Her response was very on target, that I will know when I see the place. Sooo, Thursday I hope to know how I really feel about this.

One more day on and then three days off. The girls and I are going to the city for our holiday diiner Wednesday night. We are getting all dressed up and toasting the town. We are all working on Christmas so this is our time together!