rest please

I should be tired. It is midnight on a Friday night after a week of enjoying NY night life. My alarm is set for 0530 in order to pick Amy up at the bus stop, and I haven't sleep all that well this week unless you count those morning naps.
My mind has been beating up on myself this week due to circumstances beyond my control. I was given 3 airport alerts in four days with nothing coming from them other than $20/day wasted and the shortening of my journey to go postal on the place. The other two days, I sat around on call and finally asked for the last one off because my sanity was at an end.
I walked dogs instead and it was good.
I am with the dogs now, in fact. I am house/dog/cat sitting on the Lower East Side and so damn happy to be in another place and alone. I decided it was the perfect evening to sit around and watch a movie. The evenings of drinking and socializing have been fun but I always feel like I should have stayed home, not spent any money, and cured cancer or something instead. But if I do stay home and be a shut in to save money, blah, blah I feel like I am not taking advantage of living in the city. I am sure there is a happy medium, it is just not coming to me at the time in this strange place which is impeding my needed rest.
I am happy to have my friend in town to do tourist things with like walk the Brooklyn Bridge. I am also happy to have someone I trust fully around in my stomping ground. I adore my friends here but I feel like there is something lacking that I want to fit in so bad that I think too much about whether they like me or if I overstayed my welcome.
I know that I am just tired and I need to start taking care of myself. I need a routine, I need a life, I need to feel productive. Then, I hope to lay my head down and get some real rest for my soul.