404

I miss my old apartment on the UES. The thought has occurred to me quite a bit lately, even to Carol as she mentioned that I should have stayed. I should have, I had everything set up, I knew how to function effectively in the neighborhood, I lived alone, and I had George. The trouble was the cost, the rent was more than I could handle alone and thus why my place and I had to part ways. I had no idea of this economic down turn that was to come or I might have been able to nogiciate a lower lease. I move to Brooklyn in a desprit panic to stay and survive in NYC. Three months later I moved here in a desprite move to survive my self. Here I am, wishing I was sitting in my black chair with my window open to my fire escape. The sounds filling my ears would be that of traffic on the East side. Sure it was louder, the sirens more frequent but it was the sounds of the city. This summer when I would stay with Chris I would beg him to open the window so I could hear it. He thought I was crazy. Here I hear the occassional horn honk and the cars passing by but there is something missing. I would trade this brand new elevator, door man bulding with laundry and a gym for a four story walk up any day. We learn only by living and we live for what we hope will happen. I am glad George is in a good home, she deserves the stability of a mom who is not jet setting all over the world. I miss her. As for me, I wonder if the pull towards real home would be as strong if I was back at 404.