28 September 2008

a reason

After my bitching and freaking out over scheduling rolling my day off and sending me to Dublin to work economy no less, I understand why things happen for a reason. I was given the gift of a new day off, I did earn it by flying in, walking dogs, and then running to end the evening waitressing. Saturday was all mine to sleep in, AND my good friend Turiya was in town on a layover. We had lunch, caught up, had a beer or two and then I outfit her in Duck gear and we went to watch the game! Following we had some more cocktails at work and she was in hog heaven. I got to spend the night in the city and have breakfast before sadly saying good bye and headed back home. Where I found, I am going to Paris, working the galley and with a dear friend of mine who defines Paris....See things do happen for a reason!!

24 September 2008

hate it

I loathe my job for how much it messes with my mind! Of course I had all of my days lined up so I could work trips and not have them mess with me, but what did those motherfuckers do? They made me sit around on call all day yesterday wondering if the phone would ring. And nothing. Today I hope to just fly under the radar so I can keep my commitment to Beth and take over all the pooches on Friday so she can leave town.. But NO now I have to go to Dublin and they rolled my day off to Saturday and my whole entire next month is fucked up because of scheduling!!! In my mental list of good and bad things about being here this is definitely bad!!

23 September 2008

field trip

So I have the whole day off, I have tried in vain to work but no one needs me. So I decided to go into the city and see what I had been missing out on. With a to-do list in hand and my ipod in, I set out across the East river. I went to visit my old super and stopped in to my old dry cleaners and starbucks to say hi. (Mind you these were some of the kindest people to me). I then took a bus cross town to see if I could pick up some shifts and to get some paychecks. I then walked around the UWS and checked out the neighborhood. I ran into a card shop and then printed out my taxes and then hopped on another bus and walked across Park Avenue and got on the subway down to Murray Hill to try and pick up some work. I then walked down to Union Square through Gramercy Park and decided I would like to live on Irving St. Went DSW and bought some work shoes, Virgin Megastore to pick up the fourth season of Greys, and then over to Trader Joes to find a line of twenty people just to get into the store...humm NO! I then went to dinner at Japonis where a table of gentleman badgered me until I joined them. They were very pleasant and it was nice to have some one to talk to you as I ate sushi and drank cucumber martinis. Having a taste for dessert i ended up walking through the Village and over to the restaurant in Washington Square of that guy who had the Ben Harper tickets last year. Man alive! Fantastic dessert, hit the spot. Then I walked down to Houston and through SoHo a bit before I decided to call it a day and hop in a cab across the bridge.

17 September 2008

hurt once more

I sit in a stranger’s apartment. My clothes are hung over the shower to dry. I just walk back and forth not knowing where to rest. At least I am out of the rain. I have found temporary shelter from the tropical storm but not from my emotions.
A week of intuition told me there was something wrong but I placed it to the side as paranoia. As I stood huddled under an awing outside the liquor store where my thoughts were not only confirmed but also laid out in front of me without regard. My old neighborhood, the one I long for along with the simplicity of prior months in all ways, was the setting for the cliché’ ending to the relationship which caught me so off guard in the first place.
After the conversation I just walked and let the monsoon fall down upon me hoping it would take to the earth my heartache with the rainfall. Hope for the disbelief to be washed away in the gutter with the pools of water. I walked to shelter and felt no relief, I walked towards the bus to have it pull away at my approach, I rode another bus only to get off again, another subway to get away from the pain. A familiar face handed me keys to pull it together. I walked to the building and walked six flights not realizing I had taken a single step.
Now I lay awake in my bed not believing what I have been told, wondering what it all means, allowing myself to hurt before closing the heart up once again.

what next?

I am among the “they-s” who say all things happen for a reason. Hearts are let down, expectations fail at the time of want; things don’t go according to plan. But those lessons, which are often learned the hard way, are still lessons non-the least and that is what we call growing up. That doesn’t come with age per say as some people think. Some think they need to be married by a certain age and let society dictate what step should be next as the calendar progresses. I am clearly not one of those people.
I don’t believe I am grown up for my age and that may come from the lack of a real career and my filler jobs which surround me with girls in their twenties. I believe I have made this reference prior to feeling like I am away at college. Now I have my two roommates and being a flight attendant feels like school. London is my hated calculus class that I just fail to understand no matter how many times I attend. Paris is that early morning chemistry class which is a bitch to get to but so enjoyable once you make it. Rome is that cakewalk class that you only get to take once maybe twice in your academia. Manchester is like the psychology class I was dying to take but once involved it was interesting but I failed to see the relevance. Narita and Hong Kong constitute the senior project that seems so far away but the golden ring as long as I don’t suffer too hard from senioritis.
The point is I never intended to make this job my career. Maybe I will endure long enough to get a degree or two but I don’t see myself as a full time student. One must grab onto something at some point and decide this is going to be it, this is where I plan to end up and what usually goes along with that is who you end up with. Well at the stage of lacking the later once more, I am free to think again about my future solely.
I was in the crew room here in my chemistry class, much like my favorite class in college with the professor who wore the yellow, faded tee with the periodic table, and a girl from the crew came up and started talking to me. For some reason I thought it acceptable to talk about every job under the sun I have had and my loss for knowing what I should do next. Well she explained to me how she has lived in five countries while teaching English in each. I replied that sounds like a really cool thing to me and within a minutes’ time she had a website pulled up with pages of opportunities. They range from three months to two years depending on the country. It is defiantly something to think about.

oregon, lovely oregon

Hmmmm, it is so nice to be home. In fact my attitude immediately shifts the second I land. The self protect mode falls to the ground and I know that I am safe. I will grant that I have kept the "not putting up with bullshit" mode but I think that is just good sense.
Yoder, the life-saver was there to greet me and drive me down to ol' Roseburg where Carol had Abby's pizza and conversation awaiting. Dr appointments with doctors who could only survive in Roseburg took up the morning and lunch with Minda, Yoder, and Marilyn took up the afternoon pre-post taxes. Yes, I just filed my 2007 taxes.
A bbq at Nene's was the perfect way to be welcomed back to P-town and I was in complete bliss being surrounded by dear friends. BBQ's in NY, virtually unheard of.
Next day after a complimenting doctors appointment and therapy with wax, I set off shopping with Nichole and she took me to my favorite restaurant for salad and a glass of wine, another bliss moment. We met up with Yoder for a fabulous dinner and then wound up at a strip club with the boys.
Friday was getting ready for the wedding festivities and figuring out rides to get everywhere. Luckily I am not in town too often and people are actually okay with me bumming rides. The rehearsal bbq was good fun as we all prank called Craytie and then set up a game of kickball. After a shower and dramatic costume change we met for cocktails and then went out on the town. Taco Bell, not cafeteria ended our evening, that and a whole bunch of giggling.
The big day was upon us but first thing was first with Duck football. I met Nene at a lousy excuse for a sports bar that would serve pancakes but not nachos while the game was on for the first half. During half time I busted back to change and bum yet another ride. We arrived for a wedding pre-funk and I immediately found the owner of the house to ask him to turn on the Duck game. It wasn't even on a minute before the guys joined me to watch the nail bitting, double overtime win to the game. Just in time for the ceremony.
The wedding was ideal, perfect down the last detail.
Sadly my stay ended Monday morning and Brooklyn and George welcomed me home. This time I had no feelings about staying or going, it just seemed routine.

open heart

So I have made the decision to have an open heart and mind no matter what. I long to keep the peacefulness that Oregon allotted me throughout these four months and see what good things will come to me. The last time I made this decision I was set up with a wonderful guy who opened my heart and mind. So here I am once more deciding what path to take and ultimately where I should end up. I was waiting on fate to decide that for me the whole time, by either meeting a guy or just knowing what was right when the strike of lighting hit. Well, what is that saying...got to take matters into your own hands. So here I am in London of all damn places keeping my mood alift.
On the way to my bus, Beth called and told me she signed me up for a volleyball league which made my day. Alright a good thing, interaction and working out. I was able to work first class aisle on the way over and had Kelly Osbourne as a passenger. She was totally sweet and very polite.
Nothing much else going on here because I choose to keep a low profile and just catch up on rest. My boycott of London is still standing! : )

01 September 2008

this crew

I off to work yet again after taking almost a week off flying I am out the routine. Today I lack the excitement to be back in the air to deal with people and to go off once more to Manchester. I made to work and checked in then headed off for a salad. While waiting for the plane, we did the usual meet and greet of the crew. I had actually flown with most of them prior.
The captain with his 10 minute brief.
One of our oldest flight attendants at 70 with strangely a lot hair and who feels it's okay to keep hitting on me. He told me he just finished filming a Ballywood movie and I look exactly Denise Richards. So he continued to call me Denise the whole flight.
The ISM is a cool guy I had gone somewhere with before, cool dude. He did find it necessary to give me a play by play on his love life while we were taxing.
The back galley gal is one of the headaches from the last time I signed up to babysit (play ISM). Nice but that whole trip sat uneasy with me so I just avoided her.
The FO is new to me but totally cool.
The first class galley girl, the one whom I am to work with....She is a Chinese speaker and it totally new to international period. She asked me if I would teach her how to do the galley. Sidenote: If you know me, you know that I have little tolerance for stupid questions. I offered to just take the postion from her since we didn't have all night to get things done and I was already in a bad mood. I got to the ISM first and briefed him on her proximity to pushing me over the edge. I became "cook" as she called it. And then the questions: how long you cook? how you work? how many flights you learn? how spell mimosia? (why are you asking me that?) how long you cook fish? I will say that she if very sweet and has really nice intentions but man o'live! She was constantly up in my space and trying to help me instead of doing her job. I ended up doing a third of hers as well as my "cooking" job. All I can do is laugh now...that is until we are on the plane for an hour longer tomorrow.