31 May 2006

sad

Today I am sad. The sky is overcast and memories keep flooding back. Time has all of a sudden become precious and I am vowing to use it wisely. I told myself I would not think about all the things I had to do before I left until I returned from Vegas. Well here I am finally out of the fog of the weekend with my list before me. Applications need to be filled out, list for my going away party must be made, and mental preparation must begin to become more serious. Seventeen days till go time. I was thinking about my move to Portland and even though I only knew one person when I moved here that is one more person that I am going to know on this journey. I am going to miss my friends and little things which allow me love my life.

25 May 2006

making calls

The giving of the two notice went well; my boss is absolutely incredible and was very sweet. I have almost finished telling my friends about my new adventure, with each phone call it becomes more real. I still have to tell my friend, Minda but today is consumed with surgery for her so only thoughts of her well being are on the agenda today. People I have left: Turiya, Michael, Emily, my two past dates (great way to let them down easy), Matt (whom I think may take it the hardest), and Pat. A road trip is planned for two weeks from now to visit the rents, my hometown, and Bend. It will be a brief road trip but it is very important to see everyone before I move the other side of the country. George (my cat) and will pack it up and hit the road on the 12th, can't miss my last Sunday dinner with the crew.

I am making my list for Vegas; I leave tomorrow and don't plan on thinking about anything other than my friends, Madonna, and what trouble I can find. Strangely enough I am enjoying the overcast day as one of my last; a very hot summer is in my future.

24 May 2006

leaving the rain

5.23.06

I can't remember the last time I cried. I am writing my two notice to my boss and all of a sudden the tears rushed to my eyes and down my cheeks. I let them flow. The realization that I am scared is a good thing and tells me that I am making the right decision. I am moving on with my life and accepting a position with an airline I interviewed with yesterday. Leaving my comfort zone will soon wash over me and will mostly bring its own buddle of tears. I awoke from my hour nap on the plane ride home yesterday and felt settled with my decision, I looked around at what would equate to my new home and smiled. The time has come to move forward and out of my comfort zone or "Melrose Place" as my friend, Hilary dubbed it. New adventures await me in the world, and even though I can say that I am ready, I am still sad to be leaving the rain.

ugly shoes

Day two after getting the news:

I have only had one breakdown and one close call. I wrote my two weeks notice yesterday and the tears overpowered my thoughts, paralyzing me. A job which has brought to me little satisfaction over the past year and a half now makes my sad to see its ending. The letter will be delivered today, I am excited about moving forward and taking the leap of all leaps. When moving to Portland three years ago, I was terrified but everything has worked out beautifully. I feel I have grown expediently from the girl I was when I left my hometown. Now as I prepare to leave my home state, the list of things to do keeps growing. But the list is set aside as of Friday to enjoy a long weekend in Vegas with my girlfriends.


I am on-line right now trying to find shoes that are appropriate for training and flying. I am a lover (that is an understatement) of fabulous shoes, and the thought of having to wear ugly shoes just makes me sad. I have visited a couple of sites today and greatful to have some prospects with my old friend Stuart. Giovanni was right, I just need to think about what I can wear when I am not at work and wear the hell of fabulous, funky things for the next three weeks.

New Home

Monday

I boarded my flight at midnight. A red-eye that would take me to a part of the country I had never seen before. Dressed up and hoping for the best, I cuddled up in my thin blanket and wished for sleep. The guy next to me spilled over into my seat with his less than pleasant smell. The couple in front of me brought their cat along for the journey. Meows set the background for my restless sleep. I arrived at my destination and freshed up, a crew member on my flight answered my question of direction then proceeded to have breakfast with me and offer me a ride to the facility. My day had begun. Many interviews later, I was offered the job. My shock was noticiable as I was just in the mode of answering questions, tired from the lack of rest, my guard was down. I don't think the decision settled with me until awaking from my nap on the ride home. I awoke with a strange calmness, looked around the cabin, and knew this was to be my new home.