09 June 2007

rainy day

We are taught from a young age to desire instant gratification. It is re-inforced through out our daily lives in things like atm machines, drive throughs, etc. We want results and we want them now. It is something even more drilled into those of us who live in the New York area...now, now, now, we don't have the time to wait. Being pulled out of that enviroment and set into that of a slow town where the most exciting event of the whole week was the dentist has thrown me for a loop.
It is day four of my time here with the family and we are all waiting. The caregiver, the nurses who stop by, mom and myself. The pace of activity is set by my father. We he awakes we rush to his side asking him what he wants or needs but it is difficult to understand. So we do what we think may make him comfortable. The cycle of life is real, it is like the body returns to a state of reliabilty and need. The hardest part of all of this for me is watching a once strong man become week before my eyes. My go, go, go life has come to a slow and unsteady pace forcing me to do nothing but wait.

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