valium writing

I am about as miserable as a person could be on a plane. There are children all around me screaming and one directly behind hitting my seat every so often. What makes this situation worse that there are seat available in first and for some unknown reason I, the only non-rev was not upgraded. It is a Houston crew; I could tell the minute they showed up at the gate that even after I gave them gummy bears won’t even acknowledge me. I opted to take a Valium miraculously hidden in my bag to knock myself out. It hasn’t worked and I break out in tears every so often as I have yet to deal with the week that is ever so slowly coming to an end.
It is my fault that I am currently entrapped in this misery. I am the one who took charge when I thought the call was up to me about staying a few more weeks in New York. After mulling it over with the pregnant one who my September revolved around and deciding that it would be safe to stay without missing the big day and that way I could go on holiday and make a few bucks while I readied the business. It all made sense at the time, but now I realize that I was supposed to go home prior. I should have taken the trip to Greece by myself because I didn’t even end up going to Greece; we diverted our plans to Lisbon instead. I had already gone there on holiday but wanted so much to take advantage of having someone who actually wanted to travel with me that I said ok, 13 hours prior to the flight departing when the suggestion was offered up. I had a good time, yes but it wasn’t the greatest holiday ever, it wasn’t the one I needed to bookend my journey.
Since everything seemed in place with dates and occurrences, I volunteered myself to the dog walking business in NYC. It was a good time since Beth was on vacation and I could not only get some more practice in before the big show of my own but also make some money.
I spent most of Saturday recovering from the week of “where are we staying tonight?” and happy to be in one place. I wasn’t sure I was going to have the focus for the business and surprised myself in my diligence to get things done.
Sunday I sat off for the LES to dog sit a bulldog named Beatrice. Carrie and I had made plans for the NY Sunday brunch that I had so desperately wanted for almost a year now. After walking the mile to find the apartment amongst the mass quantity of buildings in Stuy town, we met up for eggs Benedict and bloody marys. There was also a street fair/art exhibit going on in Tompkins Square that we took in. I brought Carrie back to the apartment so she could meet Bea and go on a walk with us. The owners left me a note about a wagon that she rides around in. And for the next hour and a half we drug the dog around the neighborhood much to everyone’s (including our) delight. The rest of the evening was spent in a gorgeous apartment wondering if they were happy with their lives and how do I get to the point. I slept restlessly on the couch waking to her every move just in case she needed anything.
Morning walks filled my agenda as well as much needed coffee. I was and still am in a foul mood and did everything in my playbook to shake it; nothing worked. Ended up going home between dogs to pack up another bag and go through the remainder of my stuff. I long desperately that this could be the last flight home instead of me coming back for a 20-hour period in which I hope Stella is born. To add to the pressure of walking the dog at 530, returning keys a mile away, and making it to the bus stop all within 30 minutes I also need to find a way home tomorrow so I can continue walking the dogs as promised to Beth. I ended up calling a car service since my half-mile walk from the subway to apartment with bags almost broke me earlier. Love how you can buy anything you need in NY…gonna miss that. What I am not going to miss is how freakin long it takes to get something accomplished and how when there is a time frame, complications surely appear.
The good thing about these extra two weeks is that I have my business in line. The website is done, the cards and note pads are designed and ordered and I am mentally ready to take on the dogs. And I am so ready to have my space back…the weekend cannot come fast enough!!